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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Deep thought.

I have been reading this book that brought up a good point about Weight Loss.

It said: Every bite you eat (or drink) solidifies the body that you want to be in.

For some reason that finally hit home to me. All my binges on pastries of any sort, or chips (I have a unhealthy love for Cape Cod- Parmesan and Roasted Garlic Kettle chips). It has solidified that I want to stay at the weight I currently am... So I'm going to start making the changes (slowly, but surely) to make sure that every bite I put in my mouth is actually going to reflect what I want my body to look like and to be.

Wednesdays usually bring on the confessions. So here are a few of mine. Yes, I am actually going to admit some of the embarrassing bad habits to the world... ok the 10 or so readers who actually read my blog. It's my way of refreshing myself and hopefully making a new start.

1.) I am a compulsive weigher. Most days I weigh myself 3-4 times. I know insane right. And for the longest time I have correlated a gain on the scale as to me being a failure. Forget the fact that I had Mexican for dinner, or it's that time of the month. A gain on that scale means that I failed. Well with saying all of this, I have decided that I'm going to weigh myself 1 a day, in the morning. Then no more. Because it has been a mind game for to long, and it's been winning.

2.) As posted before I have an unhealthy obsession for Cape Cod's Parmesan and Roasted Garlic kettle chips. I'm not usually the type that can sit down and eat a whole bag of chips. Except these. So I've decided I can't even bring them in the house. At 3 pts. a serving... I could finish off 24 pts+ easily. If I'm going to have them, it's going to have to be a single serving bag. But even that leads to wanting more.

3.) I worry everyday that I'm not doing enough for Will as a mom, or a wife to Michael. I know if Will could talk, and Michael would probably say in a second that I do a good job. It still one of those self doubts that I've got to work on. It's kind of hard to ever get to that point where you can actually sit down and say without a doubt that I've done a great job. Or it is for me. That whole self doubt is something that is going to take a long time to change, but I'm hoping that if I can conquer the scale addiction, then maybe I can conquer this too!!!!

Ok, so I know all that was a little heavy for a Wednesday night. But if you can't get it all out on Hump day, then how are any of us going to make it to the weekend and actually enjoy it? So I've spilled my beans for the night. Hoping that tomorrow will bring a good dinner and a new recipe for you guys!!!

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